Today I made an interesting decision. I’ve been thinking about it for a while, but today seemed like the right time.
I telephoned HM Revenue & Customs, and told them that I was no longer self-employed. I have one last tax return to fill in and one last bank account to close, and that’ll be it. No more business.
I thought I’d be really sad when this moment came, and for a while I did feel as though I was failing. Had failed. Couldn’t earn a living wage through any of my endeavours, no matter what they were or how hard I tried.
But then I got a job. A job that I’m really, really happy with, even though it seems to be changing and expanding by the minute. Sometimes it’s a bit tricky, sometimes it’s a bit stressful, sometimes there’s lots to do and I just have to get on with it. I’ve only been there for a few weeks, but I’m really enjoying it. I’m doing web work, print work, information wrangling, and I’m actually using the skills I learnt on my degree course. I’m part of a team again, which I hadn’t realised I was missing so much.
I’ll still be sewing and knitting and making jewellery and growing food and taking photos. They’re some of the things that I really enjoy, so I won’t stop doing them just because I’m away from my Shed most days. But I’ll be looking at all of those things in a new light because, for the first time in almost a decade, I can finally do whatever I want. I don’t have to worry about what other people will like, or what might sell. I can simply please myself.
I’m really looking forward to it.